thelasthopeful

For some reason,
keeping up with this livejournal gives me panic attacks.
too many posts everyday!!!!

New account: sailormethis

I wonder if you told a thirteen year old,
they were sixteen.
and they'd been told they were years older than they really were
as far back as they can remember.
if they'd think the way sixteen year olds think.
would the parents have to treat them like sixteen year olds?
would they need to?
since maturity levels are usually not the greatest with thirteen year olds would it work?

So I guess I took an unintentional hiatus,
I know I've missed many entries and that's annoying me
but not enough to go back through all of them.

So I've shaved about half my head in a sort of peek-a-boo mohawk.
I've been really looking forward to it and I have to say it's made me
very happy. I just feel more like myself.

I've been the happiest lately that I've been in a while.
Things with my mom are going good,
I'm doing slightly better in school,
and it seems like I'm extending my friends branches out farther.
It feels like love with a physical body.

I may not be school oriented, at all...
but I'm really starting to feel I can accomplish what I want for my life.
I have faith, and am focusing on the faith I receive from others to help
motivate me to organize my thoughts and get behind a microphone.
It's been a little stressing, I refuse to be overwhelmed.

Everyday until those eventful days will be just a speedbump or
just a smile on my face.
Nothing major.

So in a matter of minutes I've managed to somehow piss off every one of my relationships.
My friends,
my brother,
my dad.
If I go downstairs I'll probably piss off my aunt.

I don't even know what I did.
I hate it, I feel like everytime I try to reach out and comfort someone,
they just get a thorn in their skin.

I feel I haven't said anything I wouldn't have,
nothing out of the ordinary.
Fuck.

I guess it's been a slow day but I haven't posted in awhile.
My e button is shit right now :/, I have to hulk smash it.

I didn't make any plushies today, but hopefully I'll continue tomorrow, I need to stock my etsy.
All I did was watch Project Runway marathons and draw Bruce Timm inspired Poison Ivy's?..Ivies?..

I want to start a sewing circle, for cool people who sew shit. >.< obviously.
It's late, I'll probably delete this.
I also want to have a drawing circle where every week a different person sets out a challenge for everybody else..the same for sewing circle.
Like: Sew a whale, draw a flamingo.


I feel like I could get in the backseat of a car, look up at the sky and write novels right now.
That or I am about to fall asleep from being sleep deprived. Who knows.

CRACK BABIES AND CORN.
G'night ya'll.

You'd see a lot more indigo.

I got up from the couch and my pajama pants were halfway down my ass,
there is a fullsized mirror right next to me.
I love life's awkward tendencies.

Can you say coppertone?

Two separate moths on my bed,
two days in a row.
I spent 40 minutes total
getting them out of my room :/

I really like that "Flat world:impossibly good" ad with the woman following a pig around her house then it flies out. It kills me.
I also really like the stock one with the baby, except the puke part is the only part they show now.
They shorten the wrong commercials.

A commercial I cannot stand is the lipozine one, the "apply directly to the forehead" one, or
anything with old people like that sit in bath that looks like old people porn.

Yeah, I felt like sharing today...and you asked.

Either Paula Dean keels over tomorrow or she lives forever.

There are days when I've lost all faith in the idea that someone somewhere relates to me.
Then there are these days, where they've announced that there will be a "Runaways" movie.
The Runaways is a marvel comic book, a hilarious one. I LOOOVE IT.
And the writer of the comic is currently writing the script,
so it will be flawless.
I've seen fans on comic forums suggest casting,
if Brenda song is Nico, I gonna hafta choke a bitch.
I doubt they'd allow any disney actors..*prays*
I've done my victory dance and am gonna promote
this comic down everyone's throat until the movie comes out,
who knows how long that will be?!?!!?!

My next door neighbors are my ex-elementary school principal who likes to party hard with all my old teachers,
an empty house that a foreign man, who is never home, owns.
then there are the loud kids who scream in pain everyday, when they are playing outside.
as well as the mexican partiers who like shakira at 2 AM on all the speakers..
AND a crap garage band who just today attempted singing pearl jam.

 

My role in the family is the rebellious baby of the family,
who will temporarily break away from the family but
lead them to open their eyes.

I have to say, while I take many topics seriously, 
I find that I can't think of anything that can't be humorous
in an appropriate environment.
If I am talking to someone who has been abused I
am not about to crack jokes, but if I am with my friends
the occasional lifetime joke usual takes place.
If someone is serious, I will be as well.

 Getting to know myself as well as I do. It took sixteen years and it took many tiring and wonderful
learning experiences.

Something called the "leap of faith" at a ropes course,
pretty high up there, especially looking down and the tree log
you stood on was as wide as your two feet then you had to jump
to a trapeze swing. I caught it though.

I have to say the biggest leap of faith for me was coming out to my brother.

Don't they know dyfunctional households always start off with the parents?

mystery and wonder

 

"You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination."

              Leviticus 18:22

Very true, you should lay down with a male as though they are male,
and a female as though they are female, and a transsexual
as though they are transsexual. Any other way would be DENIAL.